How Do I Perform A Ritual To Summon The Devil To Destroy Evangelical Christians In My Neighborhood?
Posted by
The Spirit Mind in
occult on
October 13, 2009 |
31 responses
I heard that the Devil can strike people down with lightning. Or, at least, the antichrist can. I’m constantly bugged by evangelicals in my neighborhood. (I’m the resident Satanist of my area, and I’ve gotten in trouble for sacrificing their cats.) I feel that, if I can summon Satan to defeat and decimate the Evangelicals in my neighborhood, the property values will skyrocket here, since no one wants to move into a neighborhood of Bible-Thumpers.
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31 Responses to “How Do I Perform A Ritual To Summon The Devil To Destroy Evangelical Christians In My Neighborhood?”
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ok,this must be performed before midnight tonight or it will have no effect .You see,Christians are vulnerable only once a year,Christmas day so you must strike quickly.
1.Gather up all the neighbohood animals and sacrifice them to satan
2.Go to gamestop and guy 14 copies of reseident evil 4 and play all the way throuhg 3 of the copies twice.
3.Go to wal-mart and buy a butter knife and carve the words “Satan Rocks”into your refridgerator 6 times.
4.Listen to the song “The Devil went Down To Georgia” 5 times while holding your head in boiling water.
5.Grab a torch(preferably from walgreens)and set yourself on fire and chant the words “Hakuna Matata”32 times and then lay down in the middle of the road and slowly burn.
-hope this helps1hurry,not much time left in the day!
-Peace Out!
Okay, pay close attention to the following instructions. If not followed correctly, there could be serious repercussions. Also, make sure you keep this confidential for population preservation purposes.
1) Make sure you are alone in the house at night time.
2) Light 49 candles (unscented) and line them up in three lines.
3)On a pot, fill it out with one cup of your spit and warm it up until it boils.
4)While it is warming up, start humming the words “Hakoom-baya Hakoom-baya Hakoom-baya Hakoom-baya ” and jump up and down a you do it. (Your face might begin to turn a light green, that’s normal)
5) Once the spit is boiling add 4 pinches of cinammon, 14 armpit hairs and Purple glitter. Stir with with your hand. Important: DO NOT USE A SPOON OR ANY OTHER DEVICE FOR STIRRING. (you might use a significant amount of flesh)
6) Dip two pickles in the “SOUP” and shove them up your nose while they are still warm. Scream “Ahyayayayahee” 87 times.
7)After you are done, bury EVERYTHING out in your backyard.
…(including yourself)
If it doesn’t work, let me know.
First, Satan can only do what God ALLOWS him to do. If you believe in Satan, then you believe in God. Obviously you don’t know that Satan cannot do anything to Christians except tempt them; he cannot control them or harm them.
Biblical ignorance is a funny thing to watch in people like you.
Thanks for the big laugh at your expense.
the devil may have his hand full against the Christians.
Ephesians 6:10-12 (King James Version)
10Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
11Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
12For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Take a cup of frog piss, a whisker off a dead siamese cat, the dirt from a presidents grave, gasoline, a goat heart blessed by a priest, tear off both of your **** you finger nails, and a tee spoon of your own ear wax. First you will mix the frog piss, finger nails, and ear wax together until it turns into a liquid. Then, you piss on the goat heart blessed by a priest while chanting “WE”LL BE ONE, THE SERPENT HAS WON” till you are done pissing. Next, pour the frog piss mixture onto the heart. Paint a Pentagram with your own blood in the middle of the street(where your annoying neighbors are). then place the Frog piss drenched goat heart in the center of the pentagram. Say the same chant again while pouring the dirt on it and the gasoline. Light it. And chant. Our savior will arise once again!!!!
Dear friend, I am sorry to hear that you are a satanist. The truth of the matter is that you are on the losing side. satan only has authority over those who let him. He has no authority over true believers in Jesus Christ. Jesus has given His believers all autority over the powers of darkness. The Bible says that you CANNOT curse that which God has blessed. God is God. He was the one that created satan, and He’s the one that’s going to cast satan into the lake of fire at the end of this age. He will not allow you to ‘cast any spells’ on anyone who is truly commited to Him. In fact, He usually turns evil back around on the one who is commiting it. So I pray that you have a change of heart, and ask the Lord to forgive you of this evil. May God have mercy on your soul.
Sorry to burst your bubble…Satan has no time for us two-bit mortals. He’s busy planning real chaos and havoc in the political world. Just get yourself a vicious Doberman or Rottweiler guard dog, to hang out in your front yard and bite and tear another a$$hole, for those pain in the butt fundies!
The easiest way would be to buy a gallon of gasoline and burn their church to the ground…..repeat as necessary.
However, that is also frowned upon by the law, so if they come knocking on your door, answer the door naked with a meat cleaver in your hand….that might get rid of them.
You can’t, satan is puny compared to our Almighty God, “Greater is He (God) that is in us, than he (satan) that is in the world. http://bible.cc/1_john/4-4.htm
1st John 4:4.
You are of God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is he who is in you than he who is in the world.
One of the demons was missing a wing. I asked the Lord, “Lord, why is this demon missing one wing?” The Lord said, “That demon was sent up to the Earth with one purpose, but he did not accomplish his task, and he was cast back to Hell by one of the servants of God. Then Satan came and punished him, and cut off one of his wings.” Then we understood that as Christians, we have all authority and power in the Name of Jesus to cast out all demons and principalities. http://www.spiritlessons.com/Documents/7…
Um dude even if you did….you wouldnt wipe out Christianity and God would just send more people to take their place….
Sides you would be doing them a huge favor….Removing them from this world of suffering and pain…unto eternal bliss and happiness.
And you…would end up in jail and possibly put to death…
Think about it man.
It could be dangerous for your health to even attempt to do such a thing. You cannot mess with the true servants of God. It simply cannot be done because our Lord protects them.
To Him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory for ever and ever. Jesus Christ is Lord.
O.K .-You’ll need a chicken, a virgin, and a midget.
On second thought, I’ve seen your neighborhood, you’ll never find a virgin.
I don’t fear the devil. I have God living inside me.
1John 4:4
“Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world”
When you open the door to Satan, he just takes you out. Satan probably won’t touch the Evangelicals because of the “restore 7 times” rule.
haha yeah satan will never win over the children of god unless god would give the authority(but i dont think he would) and the antichrist migth do some stuff like calling down ligthing from heaven but in the end he will be crushed…
That stuff should have been in the basic handbook you got when you joined the eval Liberal-Atheist conspiracy. Have another look, it should be right after the page on baby sandwiches.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! That was a good laugh.
Why are you so concerned about your neighbors? I’m certain they
aren’t concerned about you. Just remember one thing, what goes
around, comes around.
oh thats easy … all you need is a bucket of goats blood, 4 virgin redheads, the beating heart of a baby and a packet of mentos … err .. forgot the exact ritual though
Since Satan cannot do anything that God does not allow, you need to convince God to move the Christians out.
Fight fire with fire.
Pray they go away.
you’re obviously joking…
or a total complete moron.
Dude, leave the innocent alone!
I never knew what someone did in their own house affected you.
The demons are in you son, burn their house down or feast on their flesh
no offence, but youre ****** up if u want to summon the devil.
Leave your damn neighbors alone
Your one sick ******
watch starwars
bad idea to try it… sure to have a bad ending for someone.
lmao Im loving how your name is “JesusFan…”
Won’t waste the time and effort on such a stupid ?